Traffic

More than half of my traffic is now composed of Snowflakes in Hell referrals and somebody in the UAE looking for "whitehows", awesome. Also, whitehows whitehows whitehows.

Saddened and Sobered

So my Governor was evidently arrested for trying to sell a Senate seat, trying to gut a newspaper editorial board, trying to shake down Children's Memorial Hospital, and 70-some other pages of shit; in short, I couldn't be happier. I was riding on a fucking wave of schadenfreude, I hope the asshole gets life (our last Guv. George Ryan was given 6.5 years in the Terre Haute Medium-Security Governor's Mansion for crimes that seem petty in comparison). Barack Obama said: "Like the rest of the people of Illinois I am saddened and sobered by the news that came out of the U.S. Attorney's office today..." speak for yourself Barry, I've been laughing my ass off.

A Non-Presidential Debate, Praise Jebus

So I was listening to NPR the other day, and they had an interesting debate on the air, topic:

Guns reduce crime

Moderator: John Donvan
Speaking for the motion: Stephen Halbrook, Gary Kleck and John R. Lott Jr.
Speaking against the motion: John J. Donohue III, Paul Helmke and R. Gil Kerlikowske

What's Behind Door Number One?

Sebastian from Snowflakes in Hell is holding a Photoshop contest. As luck would have it, I happened to drink 3 Mountain Dews during the course of Thanksgiving, granting me +3 GIMP editing power.


And

All the cool kids were doing it

Civics Quiz

You answered 33 out of 33 correctly — 100.00 %

Gender Analyzer:

We have strong indicators that http://thebrowsackgazette.blogspot.com is written by a man (92%).

-Fuck yeah

Seduction, Sedation, Whatever...

Me: (reading the plot synopsis of "For the Love of Benji" from the back of a DVD case, wherein a mysterious stranger gives Benji a strange coded tattoo on his paw) "How the hell do you go about tattooing a dog? It's hard enough for people to sit still for that, it doesn't make any fucking sense."
Coworker1: "What if you seduced it?"
Coworker2: "Uh, I don't think that's the word you were looking for."

Winter Rain

It's been 34°F and raining all fucking day, this should be even more fun after it freezes to the roads tonight...

ODS

I'm going to get the ball rolling on Obama Derangement Syndrome, my alarm clock didn't go off this morning and I was late for work, it's all Obama's fault.

Nov. 4

I had to wait at least 30 seconds to vote today, it was a goddamn outrage!

Bill of Rights 2, The Revenge

The Toledo Blade (evidently a newspaper, not a hockey team) brings us coverage of Barack Obama's most recent rally; he talked for a while, the sick were healed, and the blind received his sight, pretty standard fare. Towards the end of the article, well, the more I think about it the more likely it becomes that I'll suffer a brain aneurysm, so here it is:


"Senator Obama's call for a middle-class rescue plan comes a day after The Blade published a Page 1 open letter to the candidate welcoming him to Toledo and inviting him to endorse a 'Second Bill of Rights' that includes Americans' right to a job where they live.

Mr. Obama responded to The Blade's question by agreeing that every American willing to work should be able to find a job at a living wage. But he stopped short of accepting that as a right.

U.S. Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D. Toledo) whipped the crowd up before Mr. Obama took the stage yesterday telling them that America needed a Second Bill of Rights guaranteeing all Americans a job, health care, homes, an education, and a fair playing field for business and farmers. "

An actual Congressperson said this, in public, to a cheering crowd.
We're all fucking doomed.

I'm white, hows come I'm never told about our secret code words?

Lewis Diuguid wrote an article in the Kansas City Star on the 21st accusing the McCain/Palin campaign of using an "old code word for black" by calling Obama "socialist" (ignoring for a moment that the dude's a huge fuckin' socialist), he's not calling them racists, just, you know...
I fucking hate identity politics with a passion.

Goodnight, sweet pimp.

ubuntu

Good news: I finally got a usable installation.
Bad news: I'm pretty sure I have 512MB of fucked up Corsair DDR and a Gig of fucked up Mushkin DDR.
RMA ahoy!

RE: Metaphor

I can't find the ragged dog-eared copy of The Federalist Papers I keep at work, I think someone threw it away about a week ago, it seems strangely appropriate.

Da' Bate follow up

Obama's going to win, I just know it. You can't out-promise a Democrat Johnny, you might as well try to out-stink a turd.

Da' Bate

I wonder who's going to bitch about planted questions tonight.

It's the only reasonable explanation

Perhaps the whole nationalized health care idea is just a cunning plan to make Social Security solvent again by killing all the oldsters with shitty service, makes sense.

We are Opeth, we come from Sweden

Went to the Eagles Club (or the Rave, whatever the hell they're calling it) in Milwaukee on Friday, to see Opeth (opening act was High on Fire, and a ton of other little bands spread over 3 stages for some damn reason). It was awesome. That is all.

Drink Recipe

Mundet brand Mexican sour apple soda + vodka= awesome.

Barney Vito

I've gone from low-quality picture editing to low-quality video editing! Progress!

Obamafight

I'm tired of idiots insisting that Barack Obama is a crypto-Muslim, based on a couple of pictures. He's a gun-grabbing socialist, can't you just oppose him on political or philosophical grounds? So in the spirit of bad taste, here's a shitty picture of Islamobama vs. his mortal enemy, Jewbama.

Oh, Joe Biden, No! haiku

Greater taxation
Does not a patriot make
Fuck off Joe Biden

Financial news haiku

A.I.G. fallen
Socialist dogs gather 'round
They have tasted blood

The Invisible Pink Unicorn Constitution

I was listening to NPR today whilst walking the dogs, and the guest on the Diane Rehm Show was none other than Lawrence Tribe. I'll admit I know little of him apart from the usual praise (this generation's most respected Constitutional scholar, Barack Obama's Jedi master) heaped upon him by the usual sources, and his ability to actually properly parse all 27 words in the second amendment. He pimped his new book "The Invisible Constitution", and uttered the phrase "living Constitution" at least a dozen times; I think I may have injured my neck shaking my head so much. You really should just listen to the audio yourself before the link dies (Invisible Interview). If you hold any libertarian sentiments you may wish to don a helmet before listening, lest you ruin your monitor if your head asplode.

PSA

If you're a high-school-age girl who is probably all of 5' 2" and 100lbs, perhaps jumping into the circle pit in front of the stage at a hardcore/metal show is a poor choice. Equal treatment and all, I suppose trying to avoid smashing into her makes me anti-feminist.

In the grim future of the 2008 Presidential election, Sarah Palin knows only war

Tired of seeing that lame Sarah Palin 'shop with her head stuck on some chick's body, wielding a pellet gun?
Me too.

Feel free to steal (sorry about the shitty looking shoulder, but I still suck at GIMP)

Whatever you do

Never forget that evil exists in the world.

In which I relate a personal anecdote about some total assholes

Yesterday I was rudely awakened by some (I'll go ahead and assume) drunken assholes who decided that 1 AM was a great time to test the maximum acceleration and braking limits of their huge pickup truck, and that the section of gravel road in front of my house was the perfect place to do it. I stumbled out of bed to try to get a look, but couldn't make out much of what was happening from my window. I could hear (windows closed mind you) blaring country music, (contemporary country music, the shitty kind) shouting, and vehicle doors slamming. My brain went from drowsy and annoyed to wide-fucking-awake and rather intensely concerned about the intentions of aforementioned drunken assholes. I waited for the dogs to start barking as I tried in vain to see what the hell they were doing, all the while hoping I wouldn't have to fetch Shogo the Friendly 12ga. from under my bed. The dogs never barked, and the drunks drove off a bit later, (30 seconds? 2 minutes? I'll admit I felt quite a bit of the stress-induced time compression some people insist doesn't exist) leaving me unable to get back to sleep for another hour or so, assholes.

The next morning I went to work (still tired, assholes) and related this story to my boss, who tells me, funny thing; at about 2:30 AM some other assholes walked into the accounting office of our illustrious employer REDACTED brandishing a gun, and walked out with a bit over $100000 cash. Fortunately no one was hurt, it could have easily turned out much, much worse. Thank Jebus Illinois law provides for a safe working environment for thieves, assholes.

DUI and armed robbery, what an exciting day. I just know I'll see them in hell; watching Baphomet and Anubis take turns browsacking each one of them for eternity, and laughing, assholes.

Synergy

Obamadoz speaks to you!

The gun is evil. The penis is evil too.

Zardoz speaks to you

You are the Chosen Ones. You have been raised up from Brutality to kill the Brutals that multiply and are legion.
To this end, Zardoz, your God, gave you the gift of the gun.

The gun is good.
The penis is evil.
The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life to poison the Earth with the plague of men, as once it was.
But the gun shoots death, and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals.
Go forth and kill!

Obameel

Shitty Photoshop GIMP action!

Feel free to steal this image.

PSA

Ask and ye shall recieve

Browsacking ducks of the future.

And so it begins

More browsacking than is legal in 4 states.

Browsacking