Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Bill of Rights 2, The Revenge

The Toledo Blade (evidently a newspaper, not a hockey team) brings us coverage of Barack Obama's most recent rally; he talked for a while, the sick were healed, and the blind received his sight, pretty standard fare. Towards the end of the article, well, the more I think about it the more likely it becomes that I'll suffer a brain aneurysm, so here it is:

"Senator Obama's call for a middle-class rescue plan comes a day after The Blade published a Page 1 open letter to the candidate welcoming him to Toledo and inviting him to endorse a 'Second Bill of Rights' that includes Americans' right to a job where they live.

Mr. Obama responded to The Blade's question by agreeing that every American willing to work should be able to find a job at a living wage. But he stopped short of accepting that as a right.

U.S. Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D. Toledo) whipped the crowd up before Mr. Obama took the stage yesterday telling them that America needed a Second Bill of Rights guaranteeing all Americans a job, health care, homes, an education, and a fair playing field for business and farmers.

An actual Congressperson said this, in public, to a cheering crowd.
We're all fucking doomed.

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Gudis is the evil space virus that is determined to destroy and consume every other life form in the Universe. Gudis has now come to Earth. Once infected with the Gudis Virus, the victim is unable to control itself and becomes part of Gudis' plan. The power of Gudis continues to grow and develop as it assimilates other creatures into itself. He currently resides in northern Illinois.