The Browsack Gazette

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2012-01-17T15:32:00.001-06:00

The Squirrel Report is fucking brutal.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T16:00:00.001-06:00

Old charging handles make great ornaments.

For William

2011-11-05T09:05:00.002-05:00

Sappy Cat Blogging.

OCCUPY REALITY

2011-10-19T16:18:00.002-05:00

Baaa

2011-09-21T09:30:00.006-05:00

Choosy chicks may choose Benchmade, but cheap fucks buy Bucks.

Mmmmm, extruded...

2011-09-21T08:24:00.003-05:00

They may not be printing burritos yet Weerd, but don't fret, they will sooner than you might think.

10 Years Later

2011-09-11T06:27:00.003-05:00

10 years later and all we have to show for our phony national unity are two wars, two new federal agencies, and a half-finished tower. Can't we just hit the rewind button on this fucking thing?

Apple girl

2011-05-17T14:39:00.002-05:00

For Alan:
via Tumblr

Because you suck, and we hate you

2011-04-29T10:16:00.004-05:00

H und K have released a fancy new rife called the MR556, now mister 556 may look like an AR clone but rest assured that the internals are different enough to prevent you from using inferior non-Teutonic replacement parts. Mister 556 weighs in at 8.6 pounds empty because he's made of superior Deutschstahl, rather than sissy Aluminum. Sure he weighs more than a fucking FAL carbine, but he was meant to be carried into battle by the rippling muscles of Übermenchen. He features a non chrome-lined barrel, to enhance long range accuracy. Sure the 5.56 isn't known for having a lot of power at the sort of ranges where chrome lining is likely to have a noticeable effect (particularly when launched from a 16" barrel), but true Germanic warriors only make headshots. With an MSRP of $3000, Mister 556 comes with a set of H und K diopter sights and maybe even a magazine!

Michael Jackson is back!

2011-04-09T08:00:00.003-05:00

I found him in a kid's book, naturally.

Tractors

2011-04-08T20:17:00.002-05:00

shitloads of tractors...

Walmart Tactical

2011-03-02T15:23:00.001-06:00

Wow, BLACKHAWK! is really slumming it.

Daley Dice Clay

2011-03-01T09:02:00.004-06:00

Are you gunna ask me a question about gun violence? Why not? Ya mama didn't jerk you off in the tub enough as a kid?

Ayyyyy

Ice

2011-02-28T11:18:00.001-06:00

Goddamn freezing rain, dammit to hell.

Test

2011-02-19T13:03:00.001-06:00

New phone test, with cheese.

Free speech? Where the hell do you think you are?

2011-01-20T14:32:00.007-06:00

I doubt Illinois would hesitate to fuck over FOID holders the very same way, best of luck TJIC.

A.I.

2010-11-13T12:06:00.002-06:00

Wow, Cleverbot passes the Turing test with flying colors.

Tactical Mookie

2010-09-15T12:55:00.003-05:00

Whose chest rig is this?

Mookie's

It even comes with a pouch for holding whatever your cousin Mookie gives you.

Armed America Radio Redux

2010-08-01T20:16:00.001-05:00

Ok, they have George Hill of Mad Ogre on the show, so that's pretty cool, mea culpa.
Extreme Shock is still retarded.

Armed America Radio

2010-08-01T19:48:00.005-05:00

So I'm looking through a list of crappy AM radio streams and find Armed America Radio. Sounds cool, I think. I hear the tail end of an interview w/ some guy from Extreme Shock ammunition, "Hmm, that sounds oddly familiar" I think to myself. Then they play an ad. Oh shit, THAT Extreme Shock ammo!

AMMUNITION SO FUCKING ADVANCED IT'S LIKE SHOOTING YOUR ENEMIES WITH ELECTRIC NINJAS. USED BY POLICE, DELTA FORCE JEDI TEAM COOL GUYS, AND GENERIC GOONS WITH "AGENT" PATCHES!

Jesus Jones, this is worse than Guns & Ammo.

Random Shit

2010-06-28T07:24:00.003-05:00

-I was listening to Vicious Circle #56 the other day, Jay G and Kevin Baker were trying to remember who the fucktards were who suggested that women vomit on would-be rapists. Unfortunately it wasn't the British police, but rather Illinois' finest, and they have yet to come up with anything better.

-Senator Byrd is dead, about fucking time.

-The McDonald decision should be out today, also about fucking time.

Seriously Businessweek?

2010-06-19T12:06:00.000-05:00

Goatse Security?

Everybody Draw Mohammed Day!

2010-05-20T09:48:00.003-05:00

Ok, this isn't so much a drawing as it is a flash-generated police sketch run through a filter in GIMP, but I digress.
Gaze upon the true image of the prophet of the Muslim faith.

Pass the Jar

2010-05-05T08:02:00.001-05:00

This album title just sounds horrific now, thanks VC!

BAG day

2010-04-15T15:27:00.004-05:00

With 100% more robot!

It's a Cavalry Arms (RIP) MKII lower, with a PK Firearms upper (Phantom-length YHM tube, Sabre Defence mid-length 16" 1:7 barrel) ambidextrous selector, Norgon Ambi-Catch, and badger ambi-latch charging handle.

Plz to ignore lack of BUIS, crappy Chinese red dot scope, and wacky rail with nothing on it.

SUP CO

2010-03-02T09:00:00.005-06:00

The McDonald v. Daleytron fight is today, D-Guns should be legal by tomorrow.

Lame-O

2010-02-21T14:25:00.001-06:00

9 out of 10 kids are lame.

Super Chinese Valentines Day Test Post!

2010-02-14T23:34:00.002-06:00

Mobile phone post. Much fun!

The SS really lowered its racial purity standards late in the war

2010-02-12T11:40:00.007-06:00

Elwood: Korean Nazis.
Jake: I hate Korean Nazis

Translation Please

2010-01-07T14:09:00.005-06:00

I'm assuming this is some Chinese spambot trying to sell me boner pills, but I can't read these damn fur'ner squiggles.

Hmm

2010-01-05T20:22:00.002-06:00

I managed to be sober enough to upload a photo from my phone (of the GF's Halloween costume for some reason) on NYE, but too drunk to remember doing so.

2010-01-01T00:10:00.001-06:00

Fuck Bears

2009-11-04T15:15:00.003-06:00

Stupid HSUS bullshit on some cripple's car.

Topless 18yo Open Carry Protester

2009-08-26T11:58:00.003-05:00

I think the gunbloggosphere needs to get behind this woman, except for TD, you stay away from her TD.

Ted's Ded

2009-08-26T11:57:00.004-05:00

One fewer Kennedy in politics can never be a bad thing...

Ugg

2009-08-22T06:31:00.002-05:00

Work at 7 in the morning today, and I woke up with a penny stuck to my ass, is that good luck or bad?

Wetbacks raze ghetto!

2009-05-14T09:57:00.003-05:00

Most politically incorrect anagram evar!

All the cool kids were doing it.

Been a while...

2009-05-05T10:38:00.002-05:00

Here's a license plate I saw yesterday.

NIU, one year later

2009-02-14T12:57:00.003-06:00

I was a few miles away from Cole Hall when the infamous massacre happened, sitting in the break room at work. I first heard about the shooting from coworkers getting calls and texts on their cell phones from fellow students; needless to say it was among the most surreal experiences I've ever had. In the following weeks anyone expressing support for the idea that students (or any law-abiding citizens in this state) be allowed to properly defend themselves from subhuman piles of shit like Steven Kazmierczak via concealed-carry was usually dismissed as a right-wing nutjob. Imagine my surprise when I read the local paper one year later, only to find:

"...A number of campus police officers have also undergone specialized training to equip them to deal with the threat posed by 'an active shooter' on campus,' Grady said. The officers, Grady said, will be part of what he calls the CAMPUS program, an acronym for the Community Assault Mitigation Program for University Settings.

The program is essentially modeled after the federal Air Marshal program, which places undercover law enforcement agents on airline flights, specifically to reduce the threat posed by potential hijackers.

University officers in the CAMPUS program will be placed undercover among students on campus. Should a threat then present itself, the officers would be in place to neutralize the threat.

'They are constantly among the students,' Grady said. 'They are in classrooms, in the common areas, everywhere students gather. If a shooter were to become active on campus, he will have no idea who is in the room, or whether one of our officers is in there.'..."

Hmm, a number of people indistinguishable from the rest of the population, discreetly armed and ready to defend themselves and others, I swear I've heard that idea somewhere before...

We Are All Socialists Now

2009-02-11T21:22:00.003-06:00

I fixed it for 'em.

Ascension Day!

2009-01-20T10:22:00.002-06:00

Out with W, in with O. You can't stop progress...

You Can't Stop Progress

Yes, I’ll be a responsible member
of this great and bless’d society.
I’ve come to understand the wrongful nature
of gun ownership in the age of monarchy.
But sometimes it’s just so hard
to act like the person you weren’t born to be.
Felonious behavior. Countless misdemeanors.
Impersonating an officer of the law.
Bonafide man of action! How you like that?
Bonafide man of action! How you like that?
You can’t stop, you can’t stop progress.
You cant’s stop, you can’t stop, no, no, no

FUCK!

2009-01-16T19:48:00.003-06:00

Holy fuck, -29ºF on the drive to work today (ambient, not including wind-chill). The snot in my nose froze on the walk through the parking lot. FUCK!

Angryanus, Strike the Earth!

2009-01-11T22:12:00.000-06:00

Having finally finished Homeworld, I decided to give Dwarf Fortress a try.

Good times so far...

2009-01-05T14:36:00.002-06:00

Don't listen to this Korean guy, the Angry Whopper is awesome.

Traffic

2008-12-30T22:23:00.004-06:00

More than half of my traffic is now composed of Snowflakes in Hell referrals and somebody in the UAE looking for "whitehows", awesome. Also, whitehows whitehows whitehows.

Saddened and Sobered

2008-12-10T08:11:00.003-06:00

So my Governor was evidently arrested for trying to sell a Senate seat, trying to gut a newspaper editorial board, trying to shake down Children's Memorial Hospital, and 70-some other pages of shit; in short, I couldn't be happier. I was riding on a fucking wave of schadenfreude, I hope the asshole gets life (our last Guv. George Ryan was given 6.5 years in the Terre Haute Medium-Security Governor's Mansion for crimes that seem petty in comparison). Barack Obama said: "Like the rest of the people of Illinois I am saddened and sobered by the news that came out of the U.S. Attorney's office today..." speak for yourself Barry, I've been laughing my ass off.

A Non-Presidential Debate, Praise Jebus

2008-12-08T20:03:00.000-06:00

So I was listening to NPR the other day, and they had an interesting debate on the air, topic:

Guns reduce crime

Moderator: John Donvan
Speaking for the motion: Stephen Halbrook, Gary Kleck and John R. Lott Jr.
Speaking against the motion: John J. Donohue III, Paul Helmke and R. Gil Kerlikowske

What's Behind Door Number One?

2008-11-28T01:49:00.006-06:00

Sebastian from Snowflakes in Hell is holding a Photoshop contest. As luck would have it, I happened to drink 3 Mountain Dews during the course of Thanksgiving, granting me +3 GIMP editing power.

And

All the cool kids were doing it

2008-11-26T08:10:00.002-06:00

Civics Quiz

You answered 33 out of 33 correctly — 100.00 %

Gender Analyzer:

We have strong indicators that http://thebrowsackgazette.blogspot.com is written by a man (92%).

-Fuck yeah

Seduction, Sedation, Whatever...

2008-11-20T02:00:00.006-06:00

Me: (reading the plot synopsis of "For the Love of Benji" from the back of a DVD case, wherein a mysterious stranger gives Benji a strange coded tattoo on his paw) "How the hell do you go about tattooing a dog? It's hard enough for people to sit still for that, it doesn't make any fucking sense."
Coworker1: "What if you seduced it?"
Coworker2: "Uh, I don't think that's the word you were looking for."

Winter Rain

2008-11-11T20:06:00.002-06:00

It's been 34°F and raining all fucking day, this should be even more fun after it freezes to the roads tonight...

ODS

2008-11-04T21:55:00.001-06:00

I'm going to get the ball rolling on Obama Derangement Syndrome, my alarm clock didn't go off this morning and I was late for work, it's all Obama's fault.

Nov. 4

2008-11-04T00:14:00.000-06:00

I had to wait at least 30 seconds to vote today, it was a goddamn outrage!

Bill of Rights 2, The Revenge

2008-10-28T23:21:00.004-05:00

The Toledo Blade (evidently a newspaper, not a hockey team) brings us coverage of Barack Obama's most recent rally; he talked for a while, the sick were healed, and the blind received his sight, pretty standard fare. Towards the end of the article, well, the more I think about it the more likely it becomes that I'll suffer a brain aneurysm, so here it is:

"Senator Obama's call for a middle-class rescue plan comes a day after The Blade published a Page 1 open letter to the candidate welcoming him to Toledo and inviting him to endorse a 'Second Bill of Rights' that includes Americans' right to a job where they live.

Mr. Obama responded to The Blade's question by agreeing that every American willing to work should be able to find a job at a living wage. But he stopped short of accepting that as a right.

U.S. Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D. Toledo) whipped the crowd up before Mr. Obama took the stage yesterday telling them that America needed a Second Bill of Rights guaranteeing all Americans a job, health care, homes, an education, and a fair playing field for business and farmers. "

An actual Congressperson said this, in public, to a cheering crowd.
We're all fucking doomed.

I'm white, hows come I'm never told about our secret code words?

2008-10-23T16:00:00.004-05:00

Lewis Diuguid wrote an article in the Kansas City Star on the 21st accusing the McCain/Palin campaign of using an "old code word for black" by calling Obama "socialist" (ignoring for a moment that the dude's a huge fuckin' socialist), he's not calling them racists, just, you know...
I fucking hate identity politics with a passion.

Goodnight, sweet pimp.

2008-10-22T14:49:00.002-05:00

ubuntu

2008-10-13T22:39:00.004-05:00

Good news: I finally got a usable installation.
Bad news: I'm pretty sure I have 512MB of fucked up Corsair DDR and a Gig of fucked up Mushkin DDR.
RMA ahoy!

RE: Metaphor

2008-10-09T03:25:00.001-05:00

I can't find the ragged dog-eared copy of The Federalist Papers I keep at work, I think someone threw it away about a week ago, it seems strangely appropriate.

Da' Bate follow up

2008-10-09T00:37:00.002-05:00

Obama's going to win, I just know it. You can't out-promise a Democrat Johnny, you might as well try to out-stink a turd.

Da' Bate

2008-10-07T20:02:00.003-05:00

I wonder who's going to bitch about planted questions tonight.

It's the only reasonable explanation

2008-10-05T20:56:00.003-05:00

Perhaps the whole nationalized health care idea is just a cunning plan to make Social Security solvent again by killing all the oldsters with shitty service, makes sense.

We are Opeth, we come from Sweden

2008-09-27T17:16:00.003-05:00

Went to the Eagles Club (or the Rave, whatever the hell they're calling it) in Milwaukee on Friday, to see Opeth (opening act was High on Fire, and a ton of other little bands spread over 3 stages for some damn reason). It was awesome. That is all.

Drink Recipe

2008-09-23T23:00:00.004-05:00

Mundet brand Mexican sour apple soda + vodka= awesome.

Barney Vito

2008-09-23T22:26:00.003-05:00

I've gone from low-quality picture editing to low-quality video editing! Progress!

Obamafight

2008-09-22T20:43:00.006-05:00

I'm tired of idiots insisting that Barack Obama is a crypto-Muslim, based on a couple of pictures. He's a gun-grabbing socialist, can't you just oppose him on political or philosophical grounds? So in the spirit of bad taste, here's a shitty picture of Islamobama vs. his mortal enemy, Jewbama.

Oh, Joe Biden, No! haiku

2008-09-19T00:15:00.011-05:00

Greater taxation
Does not a patriot make
Fuck off Joe Biden

Financial news haiku

2008-09-19T00:15:00.009-05:00

A.I.G. fallen
Socialist dogs gather 'round
They have tasted blood

The Invisible Pink Unicorn Constitution

2008-09-17T20:58:00.004-05:00

I was listening to NPR today whilst walking the dogs, and the guest on the Diane Rehm Show was none other than Lawrence Tribe. I'll admit I know little of him apart from the usual praise (this generation's most respected Constitutional scholar, Barack Obama's Jedi master) heaped upon him by the usual sources, and his ability to actually properly parse all 27 words in the second amendment. He pimped his new book "The Invisible Constitution", and uttered the phrase "living Constitution" at least a dozen times; I think I may have injured my neck shaking my head so much. You really should just listen to the audio yourself before the link dies (Invisible Interview). If you hold any libertarian sentiments you may wish to don a helmet before listening, lest you ruin your monitor if your head asplode.

PSA

2008-09-16T20:48:00.004-05:00

If you're a high-school-age girl who is probably all of 5' 2" and 100lbs, perhaps jumping into the circle pit in front of the stage at a hardcore/metal show is a poor choice. Equal treatment and all, I suppose trying to avoid smashing into her makes me anti-feminist.

In the grim future of the 2008 Presidential election, Sarah Palin knows only war

2008-09-12T23:12:00.005-05:00

Tired of seeing that lame Sarah Palin 'shop with her head stuck on some chick's body, wielding a pellet gun?
Me too.

Feel free to steal (sorry about the shitty looking shoulder, but I still suck at GIMP)

Whatever you do

2008-09-11T08:18:00.000-05:00

Never forget that evil exists in the world.

In which I relate a personal anecdote about some total assholes

2008-09-10T13:36:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was rudely awakened by some (I'll go ahead and assume) drunken assholes who decided that 1 AM was a great time to test the maximum acceleration and braking limits of their huge pickup truck, and that the section of gravel road in front of my house was the perfect place to do it. I stumbled out of bed to try to get a look, but couldn't make out much of what was happening from my window. I could hear (windows closed mind you) blaring country music, (contemporary country music, the shitty kind) shouting, and vehicle doors slamming. My brain went from drowsy and annoyed to wide-fucking-awake and rather intensely concerned about the intentions of aforementioned drunken assholes. I waited for the dogs to start barking as I tried in vain to see what the hell they were doing, all the while hoping I wouldn't have to fetch Shogo the Friendly 12ga. from under my bed. The dogs never barked, and the drunks drove off a bit later, (30 seconds? 2 minutes? I'll admit I felt quite a bit of the stress-induced time compression some people insist doesn't exist) leaving me unable to get back to sleep for another hour or so, assholes.

The next morning I went to work (still tired, assholes) and related this story to my boss, who tells me, funny thing; at about 2:30 AM some other assholes walked into the accounting office of our illustrious employer REDACTED brandishing a gun, and walked out with a bit over $100000 cash. Fortunately no one was hurt, it could have easily turned out much, much worse. Thank Jebus Illinois law provides for a safe working environment for thieves, assholes.

DUI and armed robbery, what an exciting day. I just know I'll see them in hell; watching Baphomet and Anubis take turns browsacking each one of them for eternity, and laughing, assholes.

Synergy

2008-09-08T22:34:00.001-05:00

Obamadoz speaks to you!

The gun is evil. The penis is evil too.

Zardoz speaks to you

2008-09-08T21:44:00.000-05:00

You are the Chosen Ones. You have been raised up from Brutality to kill the Brutals that multiply and are legion.
To this end, Zardoz, your God, gave you the gift of the gun.

The gun is good.
The penis is evil.
The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life to poison the Earth with the plague of men, as once it was.
But the gun shoots death, and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals.
Go forth and kill!

Obameel

2008-09-07T23:46:00.001-05:00

Shitty ~~Photoshop~~ GIMP action!

Feel free to steal this image.

PSA

2008-09-06T09:10:00.000-05:00

Ask and ye shall recieve

2008-09-06T00:46:00.000-05:00

Browsacking ducks of the future.

And so it begins

2008-09-05T20:56:00.000-05:00

More browsacking than is legal in 4 states.

Browsacking